Why You Might Not Lose The Weight You Desperately Want To - FBL

Why You Might Not Lose The Weight You Desperately Want To

You set out with great intentions. 

You do your research.

You have made the decision that you are going to lose weight. 

You’ve booked your holiday and are fed up with feeling crappy.

This is it. 

Finally you’re going to get that old body back. 

Clothes are going to start fitting really well again. 

You might even buy a new bikini closer to the holiday. 

Yes. Actually this is quite exciting. 

Right. What do I need to do?

I know. I’ll hire a personal trainer. Pretty good success rate then. No room for error. 

They can keep me motivated and make sure I stay on track. 

Another key decision made. 

Feeling really good about this. 

Right then. Bit of research. Head over to google and type in 

“best personal trainer for women northampton”

(lots of search results) – brilliant. These look good – right at the top of page one. 

You give them a call and book in a time to go and check them out. 

You get there. Head in…..feeling a little bit nervous but remind yourself

as to why you’re doing this – the bikini – the holiday 

You have a great meeting. Goals are established and options are presented to 

help you achieve them. 


you can feel an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach and you’re not sure what it is. 

You politely say to the trainer that you will go away and think about it and then

come back to them. 

You make a quick exit and the feeling doesn’t go away. In fact even when you 

wake up the next morning it’s still there. But you cannot put your finger on what it is. 

Then you realise that is must be the cost of personal training. It’s not cheap. 

You could put that money towards something nice. Buy some new clothes or 

perhaps save up for a deposit on a car. 

……..but you’re not certain whether that is actually it. After all you REALLY DO 

want to do this. You really do want your old body back – more than a car and 

some new clothes. 


The answer?

It’s FEAR.

It’s the way that we’re all wired – and it’s normal!


Head back thousands of years and you will find that our brains were hard wired to 

keep us alive and away from danger – pretty important when hungry dinosaurs 

were around. 

The thing is. This hard wiring has never really been eroded. It’s still there and it

senses a different type of danger in the modern era – FEAR.

  • Fear of failure. 
  • Fear of success – leading to self sabotage
  • Fear of the unknown


So even though you might really want to lose weight and get in amazing shape

your brain is interpreting this as DANGER and is then releasing all known

warning signals into your body to protect you.

(if you think about it, this is really clever stuff – just a little outdated!)

This is especially true if you have started things in the past (FAD diets or joining a 

gym) and given up. 

Deep down our brain thinks that we like to live day to day in our comfort zones –

no danger there!

The only problem with living your life in your comfort zone is that you never achieve 

anything. You never take any perceived risks, never set any really ambitious goals and 

therefore never get that amazing and satisfying feeling of accomplishment. 

In this example, our brains might think that it’s safer to stay as you are and not risk 

failing, but then it doesn’t take into account the serious health and mindset

dangers of doing nothing and getting fatter. 

So what’s the solution?


Step 1: Acknowledge the resistance

The first thing you need to do is acknowledge the resistance. Rather than try and bury 

the slightly knotty feeling in your stomach, actually take a step back and say to yourself

“this is my brain trying to trick me – I am feeling internal resistance right now”

Then say to yourself that 

“This only happens if I am about to embark on a journey of achievement”

(Which is a good thing. )

Step 2: Break the goal down into small chunks

Then it’s just a case of breaking the larger goal down into much smaller chunks. (this makes

it less intimidating for our brains)

So rather than 

“I need to lose 2 stone within 4 months when I go on holiday”

Set a 4 week goal of losing 7lbs (half a stone). This is far less daunting.

Step 3: Embark on the right plan

Set yourself up for success. Make sure that you are following a plan where there

is a high success rate. Joining a conventional gym is proven to have a low success rate of people

actually achieving their goals. But joining something where there is an 

accountability structure in place and nutritional guidance and ongoing support is proven to 

be much more successful. 

Step 4: Move forward a little bit each day

Then get into the habit of moving forward. A little bit each day. 

Consistency is key. Good habits practised daily soon leads to a compound effect

when  you start to then experience amazing results. 


By the way I face this internal resistance all of the time. This is because I never really

settle for very long within a comfort zone. Whether it’s trying to grow a business,

setting up a new business, managing my son’s football team, getting up at 5am every 


It used to eat me up inside and I used to question whether I was doing the right thing 

all the time. It actually used to make me ill. I suffered with a chronic stomach condition

for 19 years that I believe was mainly down to me wanting to set myself ambitious

goals and then this internal resistance would appear – causing me all sorts of stress

and anxiety. 

Then when I figured out what it was (after reading the book by Steven Pressfield 

called Do The Work) and started following the steps above, it really helped me 

channel this energy in a more positive way. 

No major flare ups with the stomach since!


As always, get in touch if you have any questions.