Do you ever get that nagging voice…at the back of your head along the lines of
“You Need To Get To The Gym”
OR
“You Need To Get Fit”
OR
“You’re not a kid anymore – sort your health out!”
I used to – a lot.
Especially when kids came along and I hit my mid 30’s [I’m 42 now]
BUT
To compensate this infuriating ‘Do-Gooder’ voice
There was another one inside my head.
Saying stuff like
“You don’t have time to exercise”
OR
“Work is more important right now”
OR
“Spending time with your family is more important right now”
OR
“You can’t afford it – waste of money”
OR
“May be next year”
OR
I would get as far as actually joining a gym / joining a programme / starting to eat better
and 6-8 weeks later I would stop [for any one of the reasons mentioned above]
BUT
Feel better about myself having ‘given it a go’ – but then just add it to the list of things that
“DON’T WORK”
These 2 little voices used to do my head in.
Always fighting with each other.
I kinda thought that this was all pretty normal and everyone had this type of internal battle
as they got older.
Certainly not worth analysing.
So I just carried on letting the second voice win each time.
Then I remember seeing a photo of myself one day.
On a family break with my parents in Hunstanton.
I was on the beach – with my top off playing with the kids.
And I hardly recognised what I saw.
Now some will look at this and not think too much of it – I guess our own body image is very much personal and
subjective
But for me I was always the skinny kid at school.
Had the mickey taken out of me forever because of it.
So when I saw the photo with the onset of moobs and a 38″ waist it was a wake up call.
There are the very obvious cosmetic reasons to make a change.
BUT
There are the very obvious health reasons to do so as well.
I think the reason that this photo hit me so hard was because my little girl Georgina was in it with me
and I had this inner voice telling me that if I wanted to see her grow up I better sort my health and lifestyle out.
[when I mention lifestyle here I basically mean stop drinking beer and Jack Daniels every night and eating
bags of crisps and chocolate every day]
I committed there and then to changing things.
Little did I realise that I would then leave my previous career behind within Financial Services and then
end up as a Personal Trainer and opening Fitter Body Ladies ?️♂️?
Here I am a few months later once I had sorted myself out and got rid of the Dad Bod!!
This was NOT about the outcome though.
This was ALL about the process to get there.
Learning about how to exercise as a middle aged man for best results
Learning about how to eat properly – the importance of a well balanced diet.
My relationship with food totally changed – I started to understand and really appreciate good quality whole foods
like fruits / veggies / nuts /
I started eating more protein rich foods – fish / chicken / and other good quality meats.
I became aware of how much better I felt throughout the day when I was eating better foods and drinking more water.
Cutting down my alcohol intake considerably – that was super important…..but not cutting it out completely ?
When I implemented these good habits every day for weeks and months -yes it did lead to me becoming so much
more healthier and fitter
BUT
The most important thing is that I still live with these habits 7 years later.
It became a lifestyle change – rather than just a 12 week transformation.
That Voice AGAIN
In 2011 before making that big decision those voices came back but rather than debate the whole
Health and Fitness thing
They started to argue about me leaving the comfort zone of 17 years in Financial Services
to set up as a newly qualified Personal Trainer.
That first voice was saying
“This feels right”
“You’ve sorted your own fitness out, now help others do the same”
“This will be an exciting new challenge”
AND
The other one was saying
“Don’t be stupid, you have a wife and 2 kids to support”
“Don’t throw away 17 years of hard work”
“What will everyone else say?”
“How will you pay for your big mortgage and nice holidays”
Why does every decision have to be so damn hard and why do I have to deal with this
internal conflict??
- and when I struggle to make a decision why does it lead to anxiety and fear?
Older And Wiser
Over the years I have studied this internal conflict.
Pretty standard as it turns out.
But I wanted to learn how to speed up my decision making process and how I could channel my emotions
much more effectively
It turns out that first voice that would speak to me was my ‘Heart’ / also known as my ‘Gut Feeling’
also known as my ‘intuition’
Don’t ask me how it works – I’m not that enlightened yet, but I do know that it moves in mysterious
ways and is far more clever than I used to give it credit for.
[turns out there was a study done in 2015 by McCraty et el that concluded the electric field from the heart
is 60 times more powerful than that from the brain ?]
The second voice that would always try and convince me that staying as I am is the best course of action
was my mind.
[turns out one of the deep rooted main roles for our minds is to try and keep us safe and the perception
is that trying anything NEW is NOT safe]
Now after lots of research into this space I also found out that the ‘MIND’ voice is the NOISIEST one.
Which is why for me….and for most others it WINS.
But this is also why something just doesn’t feel right once the decision has been made to STAY
AS YOU ARE.
Something is out of alignment.
We all know it.
It’s that heart/ intuition trying to be heard.
Trying to say YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS RIGHT NOW.
YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE.
Now I reckon pretty much everyone realises this in their lifetime.
It’s just that most don’t realise it until it’s too later.
When they are too old and too sick and their days are numbered – that’s whey they
realise they should have listened to the other voice.
They should have listened to their heart – long ago.
Oh, how their life would have turned out so different.
Why do I share this?
Because when you become aware of this you can start to refine which voice you listen to.
Anyone reading this will know that deep down they should be taking action right now
regarding something important.
Something that on the face of it may seem scary.
It might be to do with their own health and fitness – they are scared about starting something new
and feeling out of breath / overweight / and having to go through those initial aches and pains
But they know its the right thing to do
Rather than just listen to the voice in their head telling them that they are fine as they are.
OR
It might have nothing to do with their health and fitness – it might be a career change / moving to
another part of the country / becoming qualified in a new industry or learning a new language.
Deep down in our hearts we know that we’re not meant to be unfit / unhealthy / feeling rubbish about ourselves
Identify it.
Then go for a brisk walk – preferably across a park / by a river / close to nature and then ask
yourself the question about what you should do.
Then LISTEN to your heart.
How will you know that your heart is sending you a message?
Because you will feel 2 emotions – Excitement and Fear. They come together unfortunately.
Be aware though.
If you then make a positive decision, please then be aware.
Your mind will soon try and talk you out of it.
It will try to piggy back your fear and justify why staying as you are is fine.
Ignore it.
Each time I have listened to my heart over the years regarding big decisions I have not been let down.
Ricky
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