Why I Kept Failing - FBL

Why I Kept Failing

Have you ever tried to set a goal in the past and not succeeded [I have!]

Well it turns out that this is totally normal.

There are actually 5 stages to change – it’s called The Emotional Cycle Of Change.[see the diagram below]

And most never make it past Stage 3!!! [it all started to make sense when I learnt this – all of the failed attempts at diets and why my weight used to yo-yo so much]

When we start off with a new goal, we are full of optimism [it’s exciting and new – and we like this feeling]

This is called Uninformed Optimism. [as we don’t quite realise exactly what’s involved to make the changes]

Then when we start to realise that there’s quite a bit of work involved, life starts getting the way and we get de-railed when obstacles arise, we start to get pessimistic about our chances of success – Stage 2 – Informed Pessimism.

And then we hit Stage 3 – The Valley Of Despair. It’s too hard. We’re not seeing the results we thought. It’s hard to undo the bad habits.


And go back to the beginning.

They will see some other challenge / diet / and go back to stage 1 – as they like that feeling of excitement again.

And so the cycle starts again. The infamous yo-yo.

Understanding this process is critical to achieving your goals in the future.

The key to actually achieving goals.

  • Actually losing weight [and keeping it off]
  • Actually getting really fit and healthy [and staying that way]
  • Actually cutting down drinking [and sticking to it]


pushing through step 3.

  • Reminding yourself daily of why you started.
  • Having emotional reasons attached to each goal as to WHY they are so important to you.
  • And having someone to hold you accountable throughout so that you stay on track [this can be a friend, partner, coach – just someone that supports your commitment to change and is positive]

Once you understand this process, it becomes easier to stick to.

You start achieving smaller goals and they start adding up to bigger ones.

You have more confidence and belief in yourself again.

Have an amazing day.